17 April
I had a dream last night I was on a plane
(10:55:37 AM) Daniel: the stewardess came on the PA to announce that we changed our destination
(10:55:43 AM) Daniel: the plane dipped dangerously close to the water
(10:55:46 AM) Daniel: a red alarm went off
(10:55:53 AM) Daniel: the plane was about to plunge into the ocean
(10:56:11 AM) Daniel: we hit the water and the pressure in my ears became unbearable
(10:56:23 AM) Daniel: I kept thinking to myself “This isn’t a dream. I’m dead this time.”
(10:56:32 AM) Daniel: I decided it was a dream and woke up
(10:56:49 AM) Daniel: I checked my phone to see the time but it was dead
(10:57:07 AM) Daniel: you were curled up close to my side like a cat
12 April
He started to get the feel. I was being obtusive in the way I entertained his interests with my own.
“He collects gf revenge. The defendant doesn’t need another drink.”
I go for a walk after dark. A blocked off street we cross. We run from the cops.
Back in a misty haze, I chat with her as he reads the whole convo
I am in a drunk twist down past the court block. Behind a fenced building my eyes lose focus. I fall on the sideway and observe a police officer run with a flashlight. An Escalade pulls into the grass by my side. I attempt a vertical sprint. I must reach the police officer
Coconut dress in a hail, between the flies and the root pit
26 March
I place it smack down on the table. Then I pick up the ax. You know the kind. Birch
handle ‘bout yay long. Red head single bit for fine chopping. I’m gonna do this the
hard way. Grip the handle lengthwise. Remember what your father taught you. Don’t
choke the axe. One thumb rests on the other. Eight fingers pull the lever. My arms lift
over my head. I look into its eye one last time.
I pour a shot glass. Tilt back. Sockets grip tight. Bind by the pressure of intensity, the
same intensity it will feel right before. I place it smack down on the table. I pick up
the ax. One thumb rests on the other. Eight fingers pull the lever. My arms lift over
my head. I look into its eye one last time.
∆
∆∆
20 March
I wish he would stop texting me. Dan can’t stand him, and I really don’t care to talk to him anymore. Not after all the shit he’s put me through.
Dan told me he doesn’t believe in time. He told me that time is an illusion. The illusion is reinforced by memory, the change of day to night and back to day. He says we all live around one moment.
Time is also used to measure the amount of life in you, because it’s easier to do than estimate how many more times you will breathe. This morning on my way to the subway I passed by an elderly woman holding a dog on a leash. It had snowed the night before. As soon as I saw the dog I knew something was wrong. It’s legs were sprawled out towards the back. It was wearing a blue sweater. She was tugging at the dog’s leash. The dog’s neck offered no resistance. Its head bobbed up and down as she pulled. An elderly gentleman approached her and asked her que le paso con la perra? She replied. Yo no se.
Creo que esta muerta.
No, no esta muerta.
I looked back a few times and witnessed a couple of tugs of the leash. Eventually I heard the elderly woman cry and sob in the distance.
12 March
the glow of the fish tank and the bubbling sound of the placing fifteen gallon, the gentle hum of the uneven breeze
clacking squares
e de baixar a cabeça
12 February
LOL
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LOL
3 February
I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me you breathe whisky instead of oxygen.
I imagine you as a fish swimming in an ocean of whisky.
If you were a bear, you’d prepare for hibernation by taking twenty-seven million shots of whisky.
28 January
After my second beer and shot special
and she had told me some things I sketched down an eight
and a heart but the eight was horizontal and it guised infinity
and told her that’s how I felt and she feels the same way
22 January
on the floor, made of stone
no sheet and no cover, behind the door, on the carpet
to humiliate you, to understand your point of view
other/either way, plane as the glassier on the window
8 January
Urpinha
She has a smile on your face like when you suck on sour candy. She inches closer to the computer screen and squints her eyes
then I take a cognac breakfast
my inner earmark infidelity malefactor woozy
malady maladjustment
fingermarks press up trembling on the cooler’s tap
bricklayers loosen the butterscotch blade
bricks in the butterfly bladder
At six I shuttlecock my drawls. Flora will spine circuits around the blockade
7 January
I
do
not
know
where
honest
phrases
snowball
2 January
THIS IS A PICTURE OF F. SCOTT FITZGERALD CROSS-DRESSING
black water walk backwards
bathroom stall
everyday
chocolate faggot alcohol
I sit I stare
scrolling text
eyes in the blue fire
of the non-touchscreen
paramaquet
21 December
my girlfriend fantasizes about cheating on me.
i know my girlfriend thinks of another man when we have sex.
we went out to lunch once and she called me by a different name.
one time my girlfriend called me and when i picked up she was surprised it was me and quickly hung up.
there was a time when i came home and my girlfriend was being dropped off by a guy who looked like clark kent in a black leather jacket and a bike.
When her birthday came around, we didn’t go out to dinner, and I didn’t go to her party. Kinda wondering if I should call her this year, or just send a card or fb message.
