Don't tell ______ you're going out of town. He's gonna ask you to bring him back cigarettes.
In 2012 two grown men argue about punk music...and they don't even listen to house. One of them does, but he's not talking about house music. He's arguing with a man four years younger than him about punk music. And he's not really doing the arguing, because the younger man is instigating him. They're going back and forth namedropping bands, seeing who can pin a dumber quote on the other, and they won't stop for hours, so it's best you just leave if you encounter this machismo situation. Guy flirtation always weirds me out.
Mami el Negro esta ravioso...pero las negras..................:)
The truth is that te amo
What's yer expertise? So Clothillde was all like but I don't even know who he is. K. Kewl. Start again. Clothilde my dl child where you at? And who is that? Clothilde slumped back down into her chair, not knowing how to answer the pestering fester. Clothilde, come on, you don't have to treat me this way. Clothilde is wearing a polka-dotted pleated skirt and she has her hair in a pony tail, and if her face weren't so stern, you'd swear she was about to do a porn shoot. Clothilde, looking at the man pacing back and forth in the kitchen, is feeling empty. She looks past the bare walls, out to the window, at the barren soil. The unfurnished room behind her waits vacant for her return, her inquisitor's intention. She's deflated and desolate, hollowed out by years of nitpicking and vacuous nags about this lacking behavior or that stark suggestion. She's devoid of any attachment to this place. Her affection for the gentleman pacing around was lusty at first, a fondness for emotion, utterly infatuating and eventually crushing. He cooked her worship, she had zeal for his performances on guitar, but her enchantment declined as his adoration depleted, and the screams started yelling.
Orthogonal
Wonky
I can only be myself on an airplane
One small particle decided to rape another particle and then everyone started doing it.
Why can't you just beat me and then outclass me?
Hello, earth to Barbara. This is the earth. I am the earth. Think about that? Doesn't that drive you nuts? I am everything. You cannot get me out of your strawberry jam or peanut butter. I am in your shower and even in the toilet. I'm mostly in the garbage. It's true.
Exfoliating skin and people who judge others on negative assumptions and self involvement. Water dries out your eyes. Don't throw the burning man in the pool.
It's what's inside that matters dik jok
You only tweet at me cause I'm food
A hard dick's night
Incontinent, impotent, incompetent
Popping the top. I was asked to leave. There was a girl sitting at the table next to us bawling, and for hours she sat with hands on face, and the people around her sat solemn and sunken faced in silence. She was not asked to leave.
I always stop to fixate on the smoke clouding the skies from industry pipes, and so do you.
If you don't get this you're fucking retarded, title of the book written in Twitter language about a man who stops the most hated person on earth from raping an innocent girl with down syndrome.
Morsel
The heart's gotta do what the heart's got to do. My heart is my right testicle, and my brain is the left testicle and parts of the tip of my penis. My shaft is my conscience, I think, or my personality. Something to do with the way I get along with people.
Rainbow credit card. Rainbow stories. The cover of catcher in the rye
It's the small things that matter dik jok
"I hate my teenage daughter star pregnant" read the tv headline. This is the first time he's turned on the television set in twenty years.
Little boys club (see: it's the small things that matter above)
I'd hold three cups if I could.
Do you remember me (dicpic)
Nosebooger moon. When the moon looks like a chunky piece of that bad blow you were doing the night before that got stuck in your nose so you put it in your mouth and you get right back to work.
What I write is fiction. What that means is that I use my memories of events that happened to me and to others, stories I've been told about, overheard, read on the internet, and then I mangle them together into a bunch of lies and exaggerations.
I can't assume what's small or big relative to you. I can only tell you about how it relates to me. This is a pretty big package.
Hey, David Foster Wallace, by f-term did you mean FAGGOT?
They got tons of beer and booze at work and we're gonna do a speed dating session after a couple of drinks. Work
has finally become an enjoyable experience.
has finally become an enjoyable experience.
He told me he can piss into his toilet from his shower. He's a fucking idiot. Could have just peed in the shower.
You can tell a lot about a man by the way he gets his hair cut. Wait, did he mean that? I heard it's all about the shoes, that women look first at the shoes, and then they make up their mind about the guy. That's why they love shoes. Shoes are to women, as women are to men. It's a comprehensible connection, a clear and coherent way to understand fetishism. Voyeurism as plain as day. Some people go crazy for a nail. I once felt panic-stricken by a clavicle bone. I quickly returned to being normal, when I noticed her large breasts. Just kidding. Oh, you also find girls beautiful? You think women who are large are real women, and skinny girls are a product of a shallow society? Idk, I mean, I think some people are just skinny, and some are bigger, the shallow thing is to say that one person is real and another person is not based on their looks. Stop talking about the looks. Get over the fucking looks. OMG you find this girl attractive but you assume others don't because they don't fit into a fake ideal you impose on others in your own head? Everyone is beautiful on earth.
Engorged is a great way to explain how I feel about the things I'm into.
Rilhoja is the name of a joke that started out as someone's horse, not just any horse, someone's horse. Someone with a butler. On his will he left the horse to his grandson, "...and as for the butler, I leave him my absence, which is more than he can handle, and as for the matter of the handle..." He was struck in the head by a jewellery safe. His head crushed underneath it against the pavement.
Rigmarole is the lengthy process of getting out of bed for the next remaining years of your life.
Mirrors poke fun at people. That's all they do. Go look at a mirror. It's making fun of you.
thank you gay dog, dog dick, we're gay dog dick lickers.
Not even the internet is universal
Not even the universe is universal
First Kermit to walk through the door.... Dummies themed party
Short term disability
The cat scurried onto another room, thinking about the terminological inexactitudes for tea.
Down the barrel of a gun you find...someone you know. Are you surprised about how this situation came about? People don't get a gun and shoot at a random stranger, unless they're racist or just plain bored. It's gonna be someone you know. It's an accident. Idk about you, but I'm glad I haven't owned a gun all my life. I can think of several situations I've been in where a gun would have come in handy, and what would I have done then, fired it?
Was ist das, das ich bin?
WithOutMAN
It's easy not to see a future in a failing company.
Hey can you just tell me what I want?
the simpsons is the velvet underground of...............
Why have I read the word mortar so many times?
Did we throw away and finish that whiskey bottle?
No, did you?
on the phone: yeah, yeah, 9/11, I know.
denis Johnson is Jim jarmusch
writers are narcissistic :P
The future is a nerd-bomb, and we're all involved.
is slothrop black?
Here we are at last. Real life starts now, with predictive text.
Volume. The voices in his head louder. Marty looks at the room looking for the source of his insecurity. He notices the heavy green, locked object in the corner of the room, just behind the working desk. He throws it out the window so he can feel safe.
Volume. The voices in his head louder. Marty looks at the room looking for the source of his insecurity. He notices the heavy green, locked object in the corner of the room, just behind the working desk. He throws it out the window so he can feel safe.
